Receptions perfected.

The evening is rolling slowly over Kensington Park as I type this, my back against a tree. The usual evening joggers are bouncing along the avenue, silhouetted against the bulk of Kensington Palace. It’s an affluent place, Kensington, with some of the best shops in London on Kensington High Street. But South Kensington is where the tourists go – the museums. I’ve worked here six years but even I pop over there sometimes – I’m a bit of a nerd if you must know, I’ve always been into palaeontology – to visit the Natural History Museum. I also love the architecture of the area; it’s beautiful, all Victorian and Georgian.

I work as a hog roast caterer in Kensington and the two things about this area are: It’s one of the most densely populated Boroughs in Britain. Which is good, because it means plenty of business. However, because it’s such an affluent area, it means everything has to be the highest standard. From the hog roast machines to the apple sauce and the decorations, it’s got to be perfect.

Take today, for example. The customer was a large company who had ordered full service, which means we provide the catering and decorations instead of the DIY service which is basically just the actual roast. My business partners Julia and Rick had prepared the meat with spices and made sure it was nicely presented. Then the roast was taken to the function room of a local five-star hotel and I helped Julia put the roast in the machine. The guests hadn’t arrived yet but a woman from the company was there, voicing concerns about the colour scheme of the serviettes and some of the balloons me and Julia were putting up. She now wanted them in the company colours, blue and black. Rick started pointing out that she hadn’t requested this in the email, but I quickly apologised to the woman and sent Rick out for some blue serviettes and balloons.

By the time he got back the roast was piping hot, gleaming under the soft lighting. We scrambled to put the blue balloons up while Julia set out the serviettes and drizzled the roast in apple sauce. The company woman smiled when she saw the results. Hundreds of guests were arriving, all corporate glamour. Soon we would carve the roast. I felt a flicker of pride knowing it would taste great.

I tend to enjoy corporate functions more than doing wedding receptions or birthdays because the worst you get with the corporate ones is situations like these, when they change their mind about the colour scheme or how many guests will be there. But with family celebrations or private parties everything has to be just so. Especially brides who must have the perfect reception.

Still, I love my job. I take pride in making people happy and helping events go smoothly. I always do the best I can. And if I do say so myself, we’re the best hog roast caterer in Kensington.